Are You Stuck?
Driving across the country on Friday 13th was always tempting fate. As our 6 hour drive crept closer to being 8 I started thinking about some of the incidents that had slowed our journey.
As I learnt to drive in Devon I'm used to driving in the lanes with passing places and high hedges. But in the summer and this summer in particular, we have been inundated with those who are less familiar with them. What I have noticed is that people continue to drive and try to wiggle through small gaps which not only takes ages but risks damaging their car, or in today's case blocks the whole road for half an hour as a lorry and car were wedged in.
But, had one of those vehicles stopped and waited for three or maybe 4 minutes
in a larger part of the road then maybe the road wouldn't have ended up being jammed. I thought how much like life this can be, sometimes we are eager to move forward, squeezing through smaller gaps, and sometime we become stuck and can't see the clear road ahead. Here are 5 tips on how to move forward when you are feeling stuck.
Take a step back
Just like the cars in the lane, take a step back and look at the situation from a different angle, rather than trying to push forward no matter what. Have a think about what it is you where you are now, want you want to achieve, how you got to this point. Looking from a different position can give you clues as to what is causing you to feel stuck.
Feeling stuck can mean there’s a loss of the initial reason why you are doing something. Whether that’s a change of career, life goals or other challenges. Having an opportunity to renew those passions and reasons can help reconnect with the initial goal and create momentum to get back on track.
The devil is in the detail so they say and the more specific you can be with your challenge, the more you will be able to identify what is really going on. Often by looking at the details and being able to name them can help you to move forward. Instead of it being “I feel stuck” add the details, “I feel stuck because…”. Another helpful question to ask yourself is “What is in the way?”
Once you have discovered the details you then can start looking at the choices and options available. Initially, don’t discard any. Write all of the possible choices down without censoring yourself. By putting pressure on yourself to come up with the perfect solution immediately, you are doomed to fail. Exploring all possibilities without having to nail it on the first attempt will encourage your mind to come up with creative solutions.
Having the support of someone who has either been through a similar situation or can offer support without an agenda, like a counsellor or coach can be useful. You will be able to bounce ideas off them, sometimes saying ideas out loud can be really powerful. Talking things through can also help you realise what things are not working well for you and if there are some things that it would be helpful to let go of. Once you have created momentum around your challenge, you will be able to feel confident enough to take action. Even doing small tasks to break the stuckness or inertia that you have been felling can be a motivator for taking more steps or creating further change.